My Heart's Home

September 13, 2011

Extreme Makeover

Filed under: Encouragement,Freedom,Healing,joy — My Heart's Home @ 4:33 pm

unwanted. unloved. unworthy.

Rejected.

I used to feel this way.

All because I let others define me. When they weighed my worth, the scale was always in their favor and I was viewed as a deficit. I never measured up. Trying to earn their love was like trying to lasso the moon. Futile, but I didn’t know; I was just a child. So I kept slinging that rope—trying different tactics, different strategies, different angles—but, of course, nothing worked and never would. It was impossible, but I didn’t know. I figured it was my fault when I was flogged after every failed attempt, so I kept trying harder and harder and harder to lasso that forever evasive moon. I needed to prove my love so I wouldn’t be rejected by the love I thought I needed most. But I always failed. It was hopeless.

Thus I grew up feeling like a tumbledown barn—splintered on every side—about to implode, crumble and bury myself beneath moonbeams.

discouraged. despaired. defeated. dispensable. discarded. dismissed. devalued. depressed. disowned. disheartened. dejected.

SLICE. DICE. SPLICE.

At some point we’ve all experienced the painful sword of rejection stabbing us with its brutal blade. (Some of us more than others.) Whether it’s in the form of a pink slip, a returned ring, a failed grade, a deformity scoffed, a parent’s neglect, a teacher’s jab, a skipped promotion, an absent father, a sister’s slander, a brother’s betrayal, a vow broken, a cold shoulder, a belt’s bruise, a schoolmate’s snub, an abandoned bassinet, a barren womb…

Maybe an alcoholic, workaholic or rageaholic raised you… Or perhaps your sister was the talented, pretty and scholarly one… Maybe your bank account, square footage or Friend’s List didn’t tally up…

Rejection, in whatever form, chops a heart like ax to log. 

Satan’s deepest wound is rejection’s arrow piercing our heart. Because he was ostracized from Heaven and knows his reign on earth is short term, his goal is to project his rejection onto mankind as fervently as he can, while he can. Especially women. Why? Because we by nature are nurturing. If he can wound life bearers, causing them to reject their offspring, then generations upon generations will be limping on crutches forever scarred. Meanwhile, Satan will hammock swing, sip his Red Devil and revel in all the chaos he created.

Satan thrives on chaos.

I love the show Extreme Makeover Home Edition where designers perform jaw-dropping makeovers on someone’s outdated home. As an artist myself, I love taking something old and transforming it into something new. It’s more valuable to me than any tagged item for sale at Macy’s. Mainly because I can patiently and lovingly restore it or possibly increase its original value. For example…

Does this wicker furniture look beautiful to you? Does it appear valuable? Is it still useful? Or should it be overlooked, forsaken and tossed in a junkyard?

What about now? 

Before I purchased this shabby-looking furniture, I noticed the label and discovered this is a Henry Lane, quality, built-to-last brand of wicker furniture. After realizing its true value outweighed the asking price—and envisioning its beautiful transformation after a few coats of paint, new upholstery and a little TLC—I snatched it up without hesitation.

Do you realize your own value, worth and beauty? Do you look in the mirror and see shabby, dirty and discarded or Priceless, Perfect and Precious?

Do you see beautiful?

What label are you wearing?

Is it time for a wardrobe change? Is it time to adjust the aperture on your heart’s lens? Is it time to rebuild the barn?

If you’re not sure how, let the Master Carpenter help you.

Notice I started this post with ‘I USED to feel unwanted, unloved and unworthy.’ REJECTED. But now? Now I feel Priceless, Perfect and Precious because God says I am.

The opposite of rejection is acceptance. How do we move from feelings of rejection to the joy of acceptance? We accept God’s overwhelming love for us.

Satan can try to force feed me his poisonous lies—pointing out all my failures, flaws and faux pas—but I refuse to swallow. I only focus and feast on the truth now. The truth that tells me: You knit me together… I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). I am a precious jewel (Malachi 3:17). Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, [she] is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! (2 Corinthians 5:17).

I absolutely, without a doubt, am a new creation because of Him!

Let’s shed, scorn and scorch old junkyard duds and worn out labels of ‘unwanted, unloved and unworthy’ and clothe ourselves, instead, in our Designer’s truth. We are Priceless, Perfect and Precious. God says we are because of Jesus and our faith in Him. We may not always feel it, but that’s OK. Our feelings may change, but the facts don’t and never will. The truth is the truth.

Never again will you be called ‘The Forsaken City’ or ‘The Desolate Land.’ Your new name will be ‘The City of God’s Delight’ and ‘The Bride of God,’ for the Lord delights in you and will claim you as His bride (Isaiah 62:4)

Thank you, Lord, for your truth, which counteracts lies and restores broken hearts to wholeness.

Thank you for your transformation.

Thank you for your restoration.

Thank you for your beautification.

I don’t know why we sometimes suffer the way we do, but I DO know God will use our pain for His glory, if we let Him and surrender our lives totally and unreservedly to Him and His purpose.

Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).

Although my father and my mother have forsaken me, yet the Lord will take me up and adopt me as His child (Psalm 27:10).

Keep me as the apple of Your eye, hide me in the shadow or Your wings (Psalm 17:8).


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August 12, 2011

Tea Party

Filed under: Contentment,Healing,joy,Love,Thankfulness — My Heart's Home @ 9:35 pm

The sprawling 12-foot wooden dining table contains every breakfast delicacy imaginable. Chocolate confections decorated in delicate designs almost too pretty to eat. Thick sliced bacon baked in brown sugar. Egg and ham casserole. Three flavors of homemade bread. Baked and seasoned sliced tomatoes. Fruit galore. Chocolate and vanilla cupcakes ooze colorful flower shaped icing. Sweet tea, non-sweet tea, hot tea, fresh squeezed orange juice, lemon-flavored water, coffee.

Competing for my attention is the gorgeous and expansive Lake Monroe view, which makes my jaw drop even farther.

We sit outside on the second story porch enveloped by Goliath trees, overlooking guesthouses, a gazillion-acres horse ranch, a Koi and lily pond with waterfall cascading. Fresh cut flowers centerpiece the cream table clothed tables adorned with gold-trimmed plates, teacups and saucers.

I feel honored. I feel special. I feel like a queen.

No doubt the dozen of us women feel this way at our hostess’s home. I’m sure that is the intent.

Mission Accomplished.

No one is a stranger. We are all graduates of a 12-week intense course called “Making Peace With Your Past.” Our facilitator is our hostess. We are celebrating our journey toward healing and wholeness from a broken childhood marred by abuse. What a gracious friend she is.

A little taste of heaven.

After taking this class, I can honestly say now:

my past is at peace and I am forever changed.

I see it. Others see it.

I carry a lighter load; I sleep without pills; the monsters in my closet have been banished and my dragon has been slain.

Hovering ghosts no longer haunt, casting their shadows on my heart.

My shackles have been released and I am FREE.

Free to be ME.

The ME God intended Me to be. The me that was squelched as a child. The me that is fun, playful and joyful. The me that has an ‘Otter’ personality I never knew was sequestered.

Our wonderful tea party was the perfect way to end the summer and welcome in a new season…for us all.

If humans can create such a bountiful and delicious display, can you imagine what it will be like seated at God’s banquet table one day? And I wonder what our mansion will look like and the view surrounding us! What love our Heavenly Father is waiting to lavish on His precious children! I can’t wait to find my name card! I hope you will be seated nearby!

Have you ever attended a tea party? Maybe consider hosting one for your friends. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. If it is served with love and from your heart, I guarantee it will be a success. More importantly, you will be a blessing to someone else!

“Blessed is the man who will eat at the feast in the kingdom of God.”  Luke 14:15

“Be happy that our names are written in heaven!” Luke 10:20

“In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.” John 14:2

“And since we are His children, we are His heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory.” Romans 8:17

May 13, 2011

Colour My World

Filed under: Healing,joy,Thankfulness — My Heart's Home @ 2:37 pm

Today’s the anticipated day. It’s taken 21 and the kids in my son’s class are so excited. After folders stack and backpacks hang, the eager beavers make a beeline for the incubator. Thirty-six peeps are piping.

I love Spring—the season of renewal and rebirth. If you live in a four-seasoned state, it’s time to rejuvenate and refresh your spirit from a long, weary winter.  Time to put your best foot forward and show off those French manicured tootsies, twinkling toe rings and flower-frosted flip-flops that’s aw-dun hibernatin’. Spring is in the air! Abysmal grays, browns and whites turn to Technicolor. Pansies, petunias and peonies spring up from soil softened by seasonal showers. Walking my son to school takes twice as long. The crocus, tulips and lilies–all designed to distract–demand my undivided attention. The lilacs catch me off guard. I do an about face and stick my nose where it belongs. Their scent sends my spirit soaring faster than nose-diving spinsters during a bridal bouquet toss.

Soon sunscreen will replace schoolbooks, popsicles replace pencils and happy dances replace homework. My son will beckon my undivided attention like a gardenia-garnished garden. Fortunately, I’m prepared. I’ve stocked up on puzzles, craft supplies and chapter books to entertain when we’re not at the pool, park or panting in the humidity. He’ll also attend summer camp twice a week, so I can catch up on my artwork and writing jobs while he enjoys bus-toting excursions with his peers.

As a list maker and goal setter I’ve also written my summer To-Do’s. However, they aren’t your usual tasks like pull weeds, organize garage or paint deck. Yes, those need to be scratched off. But what tops my summertime list is to add more color to my life:

Plant marigolds, daisies and daffodils.

Paint my toenails key lime.

Poke a pinwheel in my yard.

Buy a sunflower to display in vase.

Pour red hummingbird juice into feeders.

Wear lemon, tangerine and watermelon-toned tank tops.

Make strawberry bread and homemade ice cream.

Blow Crayola colored bubbles with my son.

photo

Create artwork full of vibrant violet, brilliant blue and calming crimson.

I want a rainbow-filled summer this year.

Winter has passed; it’s been gray for far too long.


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“Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.” psalm 126:5-6

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1

“The Joy of the Lord is My Strength” – Nehemiah 8:10

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