My Heart's Home

December 10, 2010

Daunting December Doldrums

Filed under: Christmas,Prayer — My Heart's Home @ 10:19 pm

It’s December and I feel as empty as a needle-less pine tree. Impending responsibilities weigh on my heart like a sleigh overloaded, stripping me of all joy, peace and goodwill. My snowbird wings are clipped. Visions of sugarplums dancing in my head are blurred by my looming ‘To-Do’ list, which rivals ol’ Kris Kringle’s. My eyes cross and fold like pretzeled arms. ‘I’m not ready for Christmas!’

My brow furrows.

My strength is already sapped, tapped and overdrafted like a shopaholic’s Black Friday credit card.

My shoulders hunch.

Expectations hang overhead like a mistletoed noose ready to choke all the fa-la-la out of my holly-less halls. Jack Frost’s not only nipping at my nose, but he’s kicking my backside with his busy-bodied snowboot. He’s barking at me to drag my procrastinating, pitiful, prostrate behind out of bed. He taps his watch, reminding me it’s time to join the hustling and bustling crowd and get a move on. Bah-hum-bug!

My eyelids droop.

Worry, angst and stress cram-pack every nook and cranny of my heart and mind like an overstuffed turkey. I pull covers tight.

My lungs exhale.

My get-up-and-go? Gone. Despite my best aim, I know I’ll never hit that elusive Currier and Ives bullseye, so I wave the white flag. I emotionally spiral like draining bath water. Defeat darkens, drowns and deafens doorstep carolers singing joy to my world. It’s a silent night and I’m:

a clangless bell.

an unlit candle.

a burnt out yule log.

Boxing gloves are removed before one foot in the ring. I’m already kayoed.

What’s a girl to do?

My knees buckle.

My forehead bows.

My arms unbrace.

I PRAY

….that I’ll allow my heart’s lens to focus on the true meaning of Christmas and let the wind blow all that hustle and bustle wayside, like:

unnoticed snowflakes…

uneaten fruitcake…

unearthed pine needles.



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